Al Qaeda Develops Disney-like Recruitment Cartoons, TSA Implements Mandatory Juvenile Cavity Searches

BC Bass|Bennington Vale

An al-Qaeda affiliate called Abu al-Laith al-Yemen announced on Thursday that it plans to develop a series of recruiting cartoons aimed at children, using Disney-style animation. One of the proposed short films depicts young boys dressed in battle fatigues who participate in raids, killings and terror plots against talking pigs, a Qur’an-burning storyteller from the American South, and a German business man who is turned into a horrible monster for shipping mail order pornography to Osama bin Laden. Counter-terrorism experts believe al-Qaeda chose the Disney style for its appeal to children worldwide and its obvious anti-Semitism, which they called a “shared value.”

San Narciso-based security expert Norton Pinkerton said, “They’re basically Disney-inspired films for children that tell of the Prophet, holy wars and anti-Western propaganda. The one I saw seemed to parallel the Cinderella story. A poor young boy, inexplicably abused by three Caucasians at a never-ending tea party, receives a magical visit from his fairy Jihad Father, who ‘corrects’ the child’s numerous misinterpretations of the Qur’an. The boy is given a six-figure sum of money, which goes directly to his family. Then, the Jihad Father pulls a fig from a tree and transforms it into a giant carriage that looks suspiciously like a cartoon bomb. You know the kind, a black ball with a giant wick on top? This vehicle spirits the boy away toward a large American bank building on the peak of a cloud-covered mountain. At midnight, as his C4-laden surrey crashes into the front doors of the bank, the boy destroys everything within a two-mile radius. After the explosion, the film spends another 45 minutes exploring the boy’s sexual conquest of 70-plus virginal teens in the afterlife.”

Read Pistole’s Statement Here