Atheists offer to care for Christians’ pets after rapture


Fear not good Christians, when the rapture doth cometh your friendly neighborhood atheist will be there to ensure your dog, cat, bird or whatever is fed, watered and fully cared for. If you’re nice, they may even water your plants.

A group of entrepreneurial atheists in at least 26 US states so far have set up a business for the pets Christians who are worried about what may happen to their animals when they leave with the impending rapture.

You’ve committed your life to Jesus. You know you’re saved. But when the Rapture comes, what’s to become of your loving pets who are left behind?” said a statement on the Eternal Earth-Bound Pets website.

Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is here to ease your stress and provide Christian animal lovers with peace of mind.

According to the company they already have over 250 clients. Each client pays $135 for the first pet and an additional $20 for each additional animal in the home.

All Eternal Earth-Bound Pets caretakers are sworn atheists and promise not to leave with the rapture and therefore will never abandon the pets.

The new enterprising venture is very timely, as one fundamental Christian group has predicted that judgment day and the rapture are upon us and will take place on May 21st.

But do not worry if the prediction is wrong, all Eternal Earth-Bound Pets contracts last 10 years.

Prepared for the rapture at any moment, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets has a system in place to respond as soon as Jesus Christ returns to take his followers into the heavens – whether he returns today, tomorrow or never.

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