Al Qaeda Develops Disney-like Recruitment Cartoons, TSA Implements Mandatory Juvenile Cavity Searches
BC Bass|Bennington Vale
An al-Qaeda affiliate called Abu al-Laith al-Yemen announced on Thursday that it plans to develop a series of recruiting cartoons aimed at children, using Disney-style animation. One of the proposed short films depicts young boys dressed in battle fatigues who participate in raids, killings and terror plots against talking pigs, a Qur’an-burning storyteller from the American South, and a German business man who is turned into a horrible monster for shipping mail order pornography to Osama bin Laden. Counter-terrorism experts believe al-Qaeda chose the Disney style for its appeal to children worldwide and its obvious anti-Semitism, which they called a “shared value.”
San Narciso-based security expert Norton Pinkerton said, “They’re basically Disney-inspired films for children that tell of the Prophet, holy wars and anti-Western propaganda. The one I saw seemed to parallel the Cinderella story. A poor young boy, inexplicably abused by three Caucasians at a never-ending tea party, receives a magical visit from his fairy Jihad Father, who ‘corrects’ the child’s numerous misinterpretations of the Qur’an. The boy is given a six-figure sum of money, which goes directly to his family. Then, the Jihad Father pulls a fig from a tree and transforms it into a giant carriage that looks suspiciously like a cartoon bomb. You know the kind, a black ball with a giant wick on top? This vehicle spirits the boy away toward a large American bank building on the peak of a cloud-covered mountain. At midnight, as his C4-laden surrey crashes into the front doors of the bank, the boy destroys everything within a two-mile radius. After the explosion, the film spends another 45 minutes exploring the boy’s sexual conquest of 70-plus virginal teens in the afterlife.”
Love your site and stories, but can you post the satire/parody pieces in the COMEDY section? When I saw this article, I was shocked and passed on to several friends.. after further research I find the contributing author is a satirist and San Narcisco is a fake town.
The Bennington Vale Evening Transcript uses invented names in all its stories, except in cases when public figures are being satirized or in reference to characters which are the licensed property of Thomas Pynchon and HarperCollins Publishers**. Any other use of real names is accidental and coincidental.
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